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I Regret My Abortion
One woman explained, "The reality of my abortion has broken my heart. It has crushed me and left me in despair."
Anxiety – She may experience physical tension, a pounding heart, headaches, disturbed sleep, or difficulty focusing on jobs at hand. She may skip the baby aisle at the grocery store or refuse to attend a baby shower.
Guilt – This is a natural response to violating our own moral code. After all, mothers and fathers are supposed to protect their children, not kill them. Convinced she is a wicked person, the woman may believe she deserves every bad thing that happens to her.
Depression – Women who have abortions rarely become non-functioning; however, there are times when the sadness and hopelessness seem overwhelming. She may loose her excitement and motivation for life, experience uncontrollable crying, pull out of relationships, loose respect for herself, and even experience thoughts of suicide.
Numbing – After an abortion, many women vow that they will never let themselves be hurt again. Relationships may be tightly controlled or completely shut off.Re-experiencing the abortion – A woman may “flash back” to her abortion during a routine gynecological exam or upon hearing the suction sound of a vacuum cleaner. Some women report hearing the cries of babies or having recurrent nightmares of aborted babies.
Anniversary syndrome – Many, many women experience extreme sadness, loneliness, anger, and even rage on the anniversary of the abortion and/or the due date of the aborted baby. “I accidentally shot and killed my husband on the anniversary of my abortion,” wrote a woman from prison. She explained that many incarcerated women have had abortions.
Obsession with pregnancy – Even if a woman felt “justified” in her abortion “choice,” she may feel the need to replace (or atone for) the baby she lost. A significant number of women who abort become pregnant again within a year of their abortion.
Ideas of punishment – Some women disqualify themselves as “good” mothers and, if they have living children, assume others will do a better job of raising them. Some women expect God to punish them by giving them a baby with a handicap.
Eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse – Bulimia or anorexia may be considered self-punishment, or forms of “control.” Weight gain, often associated with unattractiveness, may also be self-punishment. A drastic weight loss may be a post-abortive woman’s way of stopping her menstrual cycle and preventing any future children. “Drinking and doing drugs,” said one woman, “helped me cope with the pain of my abortions.” All of the above, however, tend to amplify symptoms of PAS and lead the hurting woman along a dangerous path.
The need to sacrifice -- One woman who chose RU-486 said that, after her first abortion, she felt “the need to pay a price.” She explained that she chose RU-486 to abort her second child because it was her way of making a “sacrifice” by putting herself through a more difficult ordeal. Many women realize that RU-486, the chemical abortion, is not as simple and easy as advertised. A synthetic steroid, mifepristone, is given on her first visit to the abortionist. This disintegrates the uterine lining and causes the child to die. She returns to the abortionist 36 to 48 hours later and takes a second drug, misoprostol. Then she goes home, waits for uterine contractions, and expels her dead child. She must be examined 14 days later to be sure no baby parts remain in her uterus.
Do you wonder, "Is there hope for me? Can I be forgiven? Is there anyone out there who cares enough to help me?"
Yes!If you are in a crisis right now and need immediate assistance, please contact Word of Hope:
- Toll Free 1-888-217-8679
- In Illinois 1-630-990-0909
- E-mail: help@word-of-hope.org
This page was created on 11/15/2006 and last edited on: 01/27/2008